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"I loved it." —Ann Patchett
The bestselling author of American Housewife ("Dark, deadpan and truly inventive." --The New York Times Book Review) is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.
Helen Ellis has a mantra: "If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way." Say "weathered" instead of "she looks like a cake left out in the rain." Say "early-developed" instead of "brace face and B cups." And for the love of Coke Salad, always say "Sorry you saw something that offended you" instead of "Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants." In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.
About the Author
HELEN ELLIS is the author of American Housewife and Eating the Cheshire Cat. Raised in Alabama, she lives with her husband in New York City. You can find her on Twitter @WhatIDoAllDay and Instagram @American Housewife.
“Thank you Helen Ellis for writing down the Southern Lady Code so that others may learn. As a Southern Lady myself, I can not only confirm the veracity of the facts, I can tell you the book made me laugh like a hyena. A true Southern Lady loves anything that is both funny and profound, which this book is, so I loved it.” —Ann Patchett
“Helen Ellis’s Southern Lady Code lives between Fannie Flagg’s Fried Green Tomatoes and Sloane Crosley’s I Was Told There’d Be Cake. Ellis’s irreverent doses of humor are life lessons celebrating colloquial expressions, regional specialties and offering delightful commentary on everything from what should be served at cocktail parties to what should occur behind closed doors.” —A.M. Homes
“Helen Ellis is hilarious, brilliant, and utterly mad. Southern Lady Code will make you a better woman or a better man — once you have cleaned up the coffee you spit through your nose from laughing so hard. I loved this book: every essay and every word.” —Chris Bohjalian
“Helen Ellis's brilliant voice shines in this witty, weird, and utterly wonderful essay collection—a glitter bomb of delights. From bringing foam fingers into the bedroom to trying pot for the first time in your forties, there's something for everyone in Southern Lady Code. Reading this feels like settling into a comfy couch and having a martini (or three) with your most hilarious friend.” —Cristina Alger
"That Helen Ellis is at it again. Her brilliant essays are hotter than a five alarm Memphis BBQ, dirtier than a Jackson, Mississippi martini, sweeter than Mamaw's Alabama chess pie, and more poignant than the prom corsage you pressed in your family Bible. Helen's observations are witty, wise, elegant and down home, sometimes all at once. Savor like pimento cheese on crackers. Lucky us, her essays don't have a shelf life." —Adriana Trigiani
"Helen Ellis is so funny it causes me physical pain. I just want to sop this book up with a biscuit." —Samantha Irby, New York Times bestselling author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life
"A vibrant storyteller with a penchant for the perverse, Ellis pivots... to nonfiction in this ribald collection of essays on manners, morals, and marriage, all colored by her off-kilter Alabama upbringing... Ellis’s sharp eye for pop-culture preoccupations inspires smart-mouthed provocations... Ellis is a strong, vivid writer—and this book is gut-busting funny." —Publishers Weekly
"By turns lighthearted and heart-wrenching… Reminiscent of each character from the TV sitcom Designing Women, Ellis’s wonderfully amusing writing is hard to put down, and this book is no exception." —Library Journal, starred review